starbucks etiquette

Starbucks Etiquette Can Kiss My Azz

Starbucks Etiquette Can Kiss My Azz

Starbucks Etiquette Can Kiss My Azz!

Lately, with the increase in stress and responsibilities, I’ve found a need to visit my local Starbucks for that mid-day pick-me-up. Today was an awkward day for me as the hostess or Starbucks broad taking my order became very irritated with me because of the way I ordered my drink.
Me: “Can I have a Caramel Macchiato? And make that non-fat please. Oh, and please add an extra shot of espresso.”
Starbucksy: “Tsk…just pull around please!”
I was very shocked by the obvious irritation in her voice, but I didn’t understand what I had done so wrong that caused her to suck her damn teeth so aggressively. So I drove around not knowing what to expect. She handed me my drink and then…
Starbucksy: “Next time you just need to say Caramel Macchiato, light. I didn’t understand the order at first.”
Not only was she pissed off with my ignorant Starbucks etiquette, the b*tch checked me right on the spot. I don’t expect to get checked when I’m spending my hard earned money on some damn overpriced caffeine with low fat milk.
Is there a big difference from non-fat and light? And really, any idiot can put that together. I thought we learned context clues in the third grade.
Obviously, there is an entire Starbucks culture of coffee fiends who have made their own lingo to specify their desires.

Life is a damn circus, and this broad is the circus act of the day!



  1. Ahahaha! This made me seriously laugh. I cannot tell you how many times my husband gets irritated with issues similar to this. Thanks so much for the follow and for checking out my blog! I look forward to reading more of your work! 🙂


  2. I’m surprised the deigned to serve you at all after your brutal faux pas. The server must have been in a benevolent and magnanimous mood.

    On a serious note, any group that styles itself as “baristas” is a little too self-important for my liking.


    1. She made it seem like I was this ignorant retard who had the audacity to order outside her “important” expectations. Next time, I’m not gonna be so nice about it. I’m gonna go smooth off and then ask for the manager. Its a shame you have to get nasty with people at their place of employment, but damn, don’t treat me like an idiot either.


  3. Hahahaha ordering a coffee can be tough. I was like, “can I have a white coffee?” She looked at me confused then offered me all these options and I’m like, “uuummmmmm when I am at home, I put coffee in a plunger, add boiling water then pour it in a mug with some milk, that is what I would like please.” She said, “So a long black with milk?” I just nodded as by this point I was so confused I wasn’t even sure I wanted coffee!


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