The White Princess on Starz:  Narcissists, Inbreeds and Sociopaths

I usually don’t do many reviews on television shows, but every once in awhile, I find special gems that I binge watch on the weekends. The last television series I reviewed was for the long and drawn out series, Pretty Little Liars, which I promptly stopped watching because them ho#s never find the villain, A, and I don’t have time for recycled or drawn out story lines. Its hard for me to maintain attention to TV series for too long, but I must say that I am intrigued with The White Princess featured on Starz.

The white princessWar Within A Marriage…

If you guys are familiar with the War of the Roses, featured in England’s royal history, you know that there were two houses, the Yorks and the Tudors, who were continuously beating each other’s azzes for the crown of England. Of course these two houses are a bunch of pathetic and entitled inbred sociopaths who believe they should be royalty, and everyone else should bow at their feet and wipe their nasty azzes. I think we all know the history due to our obsession with England’s royal family. I’m a huge fan of the movie, Elizabeth, and the series, The Tudors, so I knew that I would love this series.

At the very beginning of The White Princess, Elizabeth of York, also known as Lizzy, is being dragged  from her cottage to the royal palace to marry the newly crowned King, Henry VII, who defeated the York king in battle. Chile, they wouldn’t have to drag me to no damn palace; hell, I would have had my riding boots ready and a few Hawaiian roles tucked in my corset for the journey!

In order for Henry to be considered the true King, he was obligated to marry a York heir, hence the unwarranted dragging. At first he declined because Lizzy was being such a pain in the arse, but his royal counsel pretty much threatened to dethrone him if he didn’t hold up his end of the bargain.

King Henry Can Polish My Crown Anytime

Poor little King Henry! Y’all this man is so damn fine, I could care less that he is the The White Princess Marketing Shootsupposed enemy to the York claim to the throne. He is a castrated little puppet rigorously controlled by his deranged mother, who for some reason felt so privileged that she forced her son to fight tooth and nail to be King, despite the fact that he is probably last in line of succession. I found myself feeling sorry for the King, hoping that Lizzie would stop working against him and fall in line.

Unfortunately, Elizabeth is caught between a rock and hard place because she pledged revenge against King Henry and his old stank azz Tudor lineage for killing her lover/uncle for the crown. I just don’t understand why these nasty azz people keep marrying their damn relatives. How do you fall in love with your uncle? Disgusting.

And we can’t forget that ol Lizzy just gave birth to Henry’s son, Arthur. Oh what does an inbred do when she vows to take down the Tudors, after giving birth to a child who is considered both Tudor/York?

While Lizzy and Henry try to deal with their circumstances, Lizzy’s mother, the Dowager queen, and Henry’s mother, the idiot who won’t stop wearing black, continues to constantly irritate each other with their childish nonsense. I so love British television!

I love me some fantasy weird shyt, so the witchcraft that plays out in the series is an extra bonus. I will keep you posted if i don’t get bored and move on to another series.

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