Category: Exercise & Fitness

Halloween Zumba on Meth

I’ve been regularly participating in Zumba at my gym since July, and I’ve gotten pretty good at shaking my azz on my journey to health and fitness. When I saw that there was a Zombie Zumba at the local university for Halloween, I decided to take on the challenge and get my exercise on.

I dressed like my favorite female s-hero, Wonder Woman, and was feeling like 100%. I was gonna walk into that Zumba class and show them how to really shake azz with pizzazz. I made a home-spun blue cape and lined it with gold scotch tape. Of course I topped my costume off with my gold and red Zumba skirt.

My good friend accompanied me to the class and we were ready to show these college students that we can still hang. Well, the instructors were so hyped and energetic, neither the students, me, nor my friend could hang a damn nail. There were just too many damn routines to remember, and dammit the class made me feel unhealthy and old as dirt. The instructors were tag teaming each other, taking turns with their terroristic Zumba moves. Before I could finish one move, they had already completed a shake-it squat combination. Since it was obvious that I couldn’t complete the moves with pure totality, I decided to make up my own routine and continued shaking my azz as usual.

I have to admit that it was the best work out I’ve had in a long time, but we decided it was time to throw in the towel when the instructors started adding several leaps to the routines. I was so engulfed in making my costume for the class, I never thought I would actually be extremely exhausted after the class.

I could barely get out of bed the next morning for work. Those instructors were either invincible super heroes, or they were on some type of super Meth. Either way, it was pleasantly exhausting, and soooo much fun.

Zumba has been a positive journey for me to get in shape without getting bored. At my age, health and fitness it important, seeing the results from my dedication to Zumba has inspired me to continue every week. It has become a healthy lifestyle that makes me feel younger and more energetic. Try it out y’all.

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Petty Zumba Incident

meme 1I’m not going to admit to being a negative person, because I’m not, but ever since declaring my journey of positive reflection, the negativity has grown like a cancer. Its like, when you are faced with the opportunity to maintain a positive outlook on a situation, you want to just knock the shyt out of people.

Last week in Zumba, I was so proud of my progress at shaking my azz that I decided to migrate to the front of the class closest to the mirror and the instructor. I had my cute little azz-shaking skirt on and everything. I knew the routines and knew I was about to kill it. Well, this ol stank azz hoe came and stood right next me. There was absolutely no more room for her to come to the front; however, she squeezed her no-azz-at-all azz right by me. Of course since I am trying to be nice and positive about everything, I smiled and said hello. But in the back of my mind, I was like, “bytch I will fck you up.” And yall, even when I was nice to the block-shaped h0e, she ignored me like I had taken her assigned spot. She really thought I was about to move; well unfortunately, I haven’t gotten too deep into my positivity journey that I would have moved my recently-fine-azz for this ol rank h0e. So I stayed and shook my azz so hard and made her see the contrast between me, someone who belongs in the front, and her, someone with no azz to shake and no personality for Zumba.

As I wrote this blog, I recognized that the entire situation was petty as fck and I need to be ashamed of myself. LMAO!

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