Lets all act surprised that Donald Trump aka Trumpy has been denounced as a fraud! Even the starved animal taken hostage on his head is fraudulent!!! According to wherever I came across this information, Trumpy is involved in a scheme called Trump’s University that lures impressionable and desperate people into paying thousands of dollars for the secret’s to Trump’s success. When I actually think about this scheme, I just wonder how idiotic one would have to be associating with Trumpy in the first place. Yes he has made a lot of money, but he has also damaged his brand by acting like a republican buffoon (No offense Republicans) on national television.

“I have a guy who went down to Hawaii and they can prove Obama is not a US citizen.”

Interviewer: Okay, where is the proof?

“I haven’t received word just yet, but rest assure I will have something extremely important to report tomorrow.”

Trumpy lost all respect when he started pulling lies out of his lower cavity just to prove a malicious rumor that Obama was more likely “the other” instead of our President.  And from personal experience pathological liars are capable of anything! Is Trumpy a Fraud? Hell yeah, and then some!

The premier of Scandal Oct. 3rd

So, I am a Scandal fanatic and I have been waiting for Scandal to return for months. How am I supposed to function until October? What are these television executives thinking? I can only watch seasons one and two so many times. Ok, that’s a lie, I can continue to watch it until the season premier. I can’t get enough of this steamy romance and all the drama surrounding the first lady. Oh how I yearn for just one clip of the season premier. Damn these scandalous azz people. They have us fans drooling like Pavlov’s dogs for just a taste of our iconic show!!

I’m a Grown Azz Man/Woman

Don’t you get tired of hearing that old phrase of I’m a grown ass man or I’m a grown ass woman? It’s starting to plague society like that ridiculous Television show Scandal is doing our TV air waves! I mean essentially if you are as grown as you say you are, you should not have to yell it out like a rambunctious child.

The first time I heard this phrase was from a crack head in the parking lot of Stater Bro’s because I failed to give her enough change for a snack at Jack -N- Box, so she say! The crack head became irate when I inquired about the purpose she needed two dollars. She responded “do you got it or not? Don’t be questioning me about no damn two dollars; I’m a grown ass woman!” Now if you know me, you know that I looked at her like you done lost your crack headed azz mind talking to me like that after I just gave you a dollar fifty of my hard earned money. I told her mam, I’m giving you this money because I’m a man of God first and I would want somebody to help me if I was hungry. But let’s be real, you on that powder! I know because I grew up with a crack head that once stole my Starter coat and wore it all summer then sold it for a 10 dollar rock!

Long story short, I informed her that true grownups don’t broadcast it, they show it, they live it, they about it.  Growing up is a process not a race. If it were that simple, we’d all be track stars. So if you’re one of those people that like to inform us all that you are grown because you pay 2 bills, please do some self-reflection and GET REAL!!@


Guest Writer

Stop and frisk? What about stop and shit?

Stop and Sh!t

I don’t live in New York and would have been just devastated if I were stopped for no apparent reason just so some profiling-azz cop could rub the gentle surface of my lady parts. I wonder what would have been a deterrent to officers who were about to stop and frisk an individual minding their own business?

Lets say California had a stop and frisk policy identical to NY‘s previous policy. Here is a scenario: My girl and I are getting our walk on and are harassed by a cop looking to get frisky.

In my little dream land, California has stop and frisk vendors that sell these very comfortable panties that has  two chemicals inside that smells like super sh!t when mixed together. To activate, you just smack your butt with your hand to mix the chemicals, and then your entire body is wrapped in this atrocious odor that burns the nostrils and throats of the policeman and the person wearing the panties. It’s like  mace but its an AZZ odor that deters the officer from completing his search. Ain’t no man or woman going to touch any person that smell like dead azz.

LMAO! I’m Being Super Silly Today

I understand that the government wants to clean up the streets, I see both sides of this situation. However, I can’t ignore the fact that the targeted individuals are persons of color. I’m pretty sure the police aren’t on fifth avenue  frisking people’s nut sacks (sorry if offensive), or bothering the women on Sex and the City with pat downs and ish!! I hope that the government can replace this policy with another pragmatic and fair doctrine that will apply to everyone without targeting specific populations.

Internet Marketing Stole the Virgin’s Panties…GONE!

Back in the day, but not that long ago,

I was scammed multiple times by marketing schemes and was caught off guard with the gravity of persuasiveness within the article’s content. Expert internet marketers pay professionals to write premium content that can seduce a rigid virgin out of her panties after reading one or two paragraphs. Then after spending the money you’re screwed with smelly stained drawers and a curious look on your face. They make so many promises and make them sound soooooo great, and some, including me, just fall for it every time.

When I was first getting to feel my way around the internet in college, my motto was: fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me again, maybe third time is a charm! It sounded like some kind of gambling addiction. I knew there was a significant risk in marketing opportunities, but I always felt like the next time would be the one. Of course you live and you learn from your mistakes, and as you can tell I was an idiot on many occasions. I was single, in college, and could do what I wanted so throwing away a little money here and there was no big deal.

However, 31 years old, a baby, a husband, a doctorate program, and thousands of miles away from the republican and female oppressive state of Texas, there is no way in hell on earth I will throw away any money on these ratchet azz scams. And when someone says something is free, you better believe you will be giving up something whether it be an email address, a date of birth, your name, SOMETHING. Nothing is ever free.