Hand Holding Perpetrators

Photo by http://www.harpyness.com/
Photo by http://www.harpyness.com/

This isn’t a post hating on those who are deeply in love and can’t help but show public affection, but just my random thoughts about holding hands in the dumbest places. The month of love is months away, but I have noticed many couples flaunting their undying lust/love in public. I think its sweet that grown azz people hold hands and swing their little arms excitedly while doing the most mundane things.

Today, I saw a couple holding hands at the bus stop. Like really? Its damn near 100 degrees outside, but y’all locked up like its paradise. I guess that’s what love does to you sometimes. Sweating, musty, but holding hands nonetheless. Later in the day, there was a hand-holding couple leaving the local Rite Aid, and they pranced to their car full of children like it was Christmas. They apparently went in the store for some feminine products, and were in love…while picking out the cheapest brand of tampons? I don’t know. I guess its sweet, but do we have to be subjected to the happy prancing couples holding hands while ordering food at McDonald’s, or getting their oil changed at Jiffy Lube? My favorite…couples holding hands at the local food stamp office. If I were applying for food stamps, I wouldn’t be holding anyone’s hand, I would be pissed the hell off from being hungry.

The Tea With Opinionated Mommy: Toxic Friends

imagesToxic Friends…Your Tea Is Served!

Have you ever had a friendship with someone who turned into one of those toxic persons who enjoy reveling in other people’s pain? Sometimes the friendship will never work because a person’s personality changes to shyt.

After severing a life long relationship with a so-called best friend it takes its toll, but in the end you are reminded why you severed the relationship in the first place. Your childhood friend transforms into a total bytch that you can’t trust worth shyt. You can tell her one thing in a phone call, and in the next five minutes you get calls from people enraged because they heard the shyt you just told the bytch in confidence. If you have known someone since childhood, doesn’t that at least give you an hour of loyalty?


After a few years of broken communication with this person, you finally decide that maybe having a relationship on Facebook is safe and appropriate. Well, the problem with this idea is…every post this person writes enrages you to a point that you are angrily commenting on shyt you would never express publicly.  The rage that you continue to feel inside could derive from the inevitable loneliness that you felt once that relationship dissolved, and it could be that this person’s personality is severely infuriating because you have grown to love life without the drama.

Whatever the reason…your azz is unfriended!

House Wifery

house wifery

Continue reading “House Wifery”

Bleach and Piss

Parent Tip AlertI just moved into these really nice apartment homes where I thought me and the “fam fam” wouldn’t be hindered with incompetent front office staff and insane persons trying to commit suicide once a month. Check out my post regarding the idiot down stairs at my previous apartment and his stand off with a fully armed SWAT team.

I will make this as painless as possible. The people next door can be characterized as a neighbor’s worst nightmare. This woman has five children, a cheating live-in boyfriend, and a little boy who refuses to piss in the toilet. Let me repeat that for emphasis…

                         …a little boy who refuses to piss in the toilet. (He is around seven or eight by the way)

Our first day in the apartment, the little boy whipped out his junk and peed on the adjoining porch we unfortunately share with his family.

I didn’t understand why his mother didn’t address this issue when he started socializing and understanding proper etiquette, but her azz is lacking some etiquette her damn self because she has no qualms about public self-humiliation. While I was walking from my baby’s room, I heard her door slam and her screaming as if she were in pain. I thought something was wrong. I peeked out the key hole and she was just fine. She stood right outside my door cussing at the woman who cheating with her man. Every word was an expletive, and sorry to say…very entertaining.